Potty Training-Need Help

[montmeag]

Ok, so this is my first post here and it has nothing to do with srapbooking except that it's part of life. You all sound so fun and willing to help that I thought I'd throw this out there. We've been potty training my 3 1/2 year old son for a little while with not a lot of success. The most successful thing we've tried is the potty chart. He's CRAZY about Thomas so I made a chart with some tracks ending with a new box car or engine or whatever it is that he's picked out. If we put him on the potty he will sometimes go and gets really excited when he gets to put a sticker on the chart and gets a treat. However, he doesn't always go and he never tells me he has to go. Plus, he has no problem sitting in a messy pull-up whatsoever. I have let him run around buck for a while and that seemed to work the first day, but then he just waited until I put a pull-up on him and went in that. I hope this isn't too inappropriate for the forum, but I know many of you have gone through this before and I need all the help I can get. Please tell me girls are easier!!!

[Jill]

Hi and welcome! I have three boys and just finished potty training my third. I had a bit of the same problem and had to bite the bullet and get rid of pull ups. Just undies. Pull-ups and night time only. There were some messy days and the steamer got a lot of use, but now he is doing okay. We put him in a pull-up for church and he ALWAYS goes in his pull-up, every time (we are too chicken to make the poor church people deal with pee pee pants, or worse.) But he now rarely has accidents in his underware. And he would totally sit in a nasty pull-up all day if I let him.
Our other secret is Lifesavers. He LOVES them. So we break them out any time he goes. They are the wonder bribe.
Potty training is hands down the worst part of parenting. Just be way consistent and don't give up. You can do it!

[Alyson]

Welcome!! I don't have kids yet, so I have no advice...I just wanted to say hi!

[Alishaw]

Are you pumping him full of liquids & having him "try" every 20 minutes? Teaching them the feeling of needing to go is difficult. We used a chart & smarties & lots of excitement. Only pull-ups @ night & very cool undies during the day (Thomas, Diego). I took off work on a Friday & it's all we did all weekend.

[digiferfer]

I also say pull ups are not good during the day, cause they just know that they can have accidents and be just fine like a diaper. Good luck, potty training is the worst, thinking about starting to work on it with my 2 year old but it's such a pain.

[Quinn]

how young have you guys started to train? My 22m/o boy HATES to have his diaper changed so I'm thinking to get started soon. I got an early potty training book
from the library that says you should start as early as 2 months. The book made me feel awful for using diapers and I got really intimidated to start trying.

[montmeag]

We started when he turned 3. My sister started her son when he was about 2 1/2 because she was expecting and didn't want to deal with 2 kids in diapers. However, they had lots of problems, too. She swears its because they started him too early and he wasn't ready for it. They ended up backing off and waiting a little while to start again. However, every kid is different. My friend has a 2 year old that they are working with and they've had some success. However, I call him the wonder kid (he can spell his name!) .We hoped that by waiting a little longer our son would be more than ready. So much for that idea. I'm going to try the pumping him full of liquids trick for the next few days and see how that goes. (Thanks for the tip Alishaw!) Good thing I don't work until Thursday.

[Jenny McDonald]

Have you heard of The Potty Parties? I've heard people at work swear by them. I don't exactly know how it works but I'd be more then happy to ask.

[Alishaw]

I kept offering drinks ALL day long-water, juice, sprite (as a treat) and then every 20 minutes I'd set a timer and get all excited that it was time to try going potty!! I taught him to sit backwards to start (it's points them in the right direction ;) ) He received stickers for rewards (I try to stay away from candy as much as possible) and if we went all day without an accident, he received a toy car or something fun like a new puzzle. #1 went great after 2-3 days. Now #2 is a whole other deal... ;(
The parties are when you actually throw an all day party and invite stuffed animals and dolls who "use" the potty so your child mimics what they do. There are treats and streamers and balloons and horns, etc. Every time anyone goes potty-you hoot and holler it up so it's a positive things for them and they want to go like their friends do.

[Bverly]

Besides the liquids I used to give my kids salt snacks. They could eat all the crackers, chips, prezels, that they wanted because that way they needed the liquid to combate the salt and dryness. Each child has his own clock and when he is ready to potty train. Pushing it too fast may set you back even farther. Good luck.

[Bverly]

Besides liquids I used to offer all the salty snacks that they wanted. This helped increase the need for the liquids. Each child has their own time clock as to when he or she is ready for potty training. Good luck.

[a_c_danica]

I have been trying to potty train my son for 6 months now. I have made lots of mistakes, (not being very consistant is the biggest!) I tried the potty party after my sisters in law tried it with both of there kids and it didn't work for my son (he got sick that day and it turned him off of potty training all together) BUT it has worked for lots of people that I know and I will try it with my other kids.... I haven't had much success yet, but I think it's more my falt than his... shame on me...! GOOD LUCK! If you want to learn more about the potty parties there is a book that called "how to potty train in just one day" or something like it. It's a great fast read... but make sure you don't spend a lot of money... you kid really doesn't care, just make it A LOT of fun!

[montmeag]

Ok, so we've had some good success with the liquids and taking him to the bathroom every 20 minutes. He does really well with this when he doesn't have anything on. He even goes by himself (#1 and #2!) without me asking if he needs to go. Here's the problem. The minute I put underwear on him it all goes out the window and he wets and messes his pants, even with me taking him every 20 minutes. I know he knows when he needs to go because we had few accidents when he was buck. The few we had were "en route". How do I get him to understand that underwear is not a diaper?

[Alishaw]

This is going to sound harsh, but I've read and did have to try it... let him hang out in wet underwear for a bit. Diapers take the moisture away from their skin, but wet undies and pants don't so it gets uncomfortable and itchy on their legs. I'm not talking like all afternoon so he gets chapped butt! But for a little while because then he won't want to do it again. He had to play on the tile while he was wet. Does he come to you when he has an accident or do you discover it? Keep it up, he'll get it. I also had my son clean up his own accidents. (of course I had to really clean it, but he had to do his best to clean it up and didn't like that either) My son still waits 'til the last minute to say he needs to go & it's been a year and a half. Thank goodness I know where every bathroom from here to Kansas is ;)

[Kelli West]

funny enough tht i don't have kids, but i have nephews, and alot of friends with kids, and i heard my friend say tonight to give them a quick COLD shower after they poop or pee their pants, do that a couple of times and they will stop cause they don't like the cold water!! once again, i just heard this!

[crystalclark87]

I like the cold shower one.. Sounds like it would work! I hate cold showers..

[alb52]

hi! jumping in a little late here, but i agree - i think getting rid of the pull ups completely (makes it harder on mommy but...) and letting them be wet a while seemed to work for us!

[Alishaw]

How did today's potty training go?

[montmeag]

It's going a little better. Wednesday was a nightmare! But my husband was home and had the kids both Thursday and Friday while I worked. It was nice to get a little break plus he got to share in the joy.;) Dan (my husband) said it went pretty well in the morning and not so well in the afternoon. We're going to work hard on it again today and see how that goes. We're pretty much stuck at home because I'm on call for work and also it's SNOWING!!! :eek:Anyway, it's a good excuse to stay inside and do stuff together. I'll keep you posted. Thanks everyone for the tips and support. BTW has anyone heard of Love and Logic? We're going to take a class starting next week. It should be good.

[LucyLu]

I took love and logic...when my son was a teenager and being a hugh brat I highly recommend it to any young parents... I wish I had known about it when my kids were small.... (by the way I actually took it twice) :).

Good luck

[Jill]

Love and Logic is great! I think you will really like it. Especially if you have kids like mine that are independant little souls. It has helped me a ton!

[DeborahMomof2]

We did a lot of talking, but it's hard to force them if they aren't ready. A big motivator for us was that preschool was starting and he had to be trained -- he loved school and I told him that all his friends (and named each one!) would be using the big potties and he'd need to use the big potties if he wanted to go to school.

But the best advice I got was that once you took away the pullups and put him in underwear DON'T GO BACK to pullups! The first couple of days he was having accidents left and right, but he figured it out.

We also tried putting fruit loops in the potty as targets for him, to try and make it fun... Good luck!

[montmeag]

We've had some progress. We've had him in undies during the day for a while and he had lots of accidents. The last few days he's been down to about 2 or so a day. Both Monday and Tuesday we had to go do some shopping and I put him in a pull-up for that (I know, but I'm chicken). However, he stayed dry both days for the whole trip - about 1 1/2 hours. We made it until about 5:15 the other night before he had an accident. We got a Percy train for him that's in the top of my closet. If he goes a whole day without an accident he gets the train. He really wants it, but I'm not sure if he's understanding the whole day without accidents thing. He goes and points in my closet each time he goes potty. We just had him evaluated at the school district for a speech delay. He scored 14 with 22 being average for communication. I'm hoping he understands more than he can communicate back. We'll be meeting with the speech pathologist hopefully in the next week or 2 to decide what he needs. We'll see what happens.

[Jill]

What made you deceide to go get him evaluated? My friend is right in the middle of that and she isn't sure what to do. Her daughter is 2 1/2.

[montmeag]

I just noticed that he didn't seem to talk as well and understandably as most kids his age and many that were younger. I brought it up at his 3 year check-up with the pediatrician and he agreed that there was a delay. That was way back in March. So he gave us some phone numbers of places to call to have him evaluated. One was a private clinic and the other a state run program through the school which would be free if he qualifies. We checked with our insurance which would only cover it if we went through the university and even then it would only pay for half after our deductible was met. Not that I want him to score low, but I want him to get help before he starts school in a couple years. Let's all hope he qualifies!!!