Allowances (NSBR)

[Ursula Page]

We are thinking of starting the boys on allowances to help motivate them in certain areas. Do any of you do allowances? How much? Do they get it no matter what or does it increase or decrease based on chores or behavior or grades?

[April]

My weakness is toys. Not purses, not shoes... toys. I like the allowance idea for me so the kids are earning the toys I want to buy them. I have no experiences to share with this but it makes a lot of sence to me to do it based on chores. Then again I can see how a fixed amount would be good too to help your kids learn how to budget and save. I'm going to buy my kids stuff no matter what so it would probably be a good idea for me to have an allowance for my kids so they can learn better that the money doesn't grow on trees.

[Becky O]

I am sure that there are lots of ways to do this, but what has been successful for our children and their financial responsibility has been what we call earnings.
We have a large list of jobs and the amount to be earned for a successful completion of that task. There are bags with tickets marked in different monetary amounts like .50, 1.00, 1.50 etc. that are like little IOUs. Each child has a "bag" that they collect these tickets in. And on our payday they have a payday. They have been responsible for half of their clothing and all of their toys. We do important things like socks underwear etc because they just would never shop for them if we didn't! But it has helped with their understanding of value in pricing as well. When they have to work and save to get enough, they aren't willing to spend it as frivolously. They are on the honor sysytem, and if they don't pay themselves upon completion they don't get to go back and add tickets later. We are pretty up on who is doing what and when and have been able to teach some lessons about honesty as well with this process.
Anyway, it has been pretty successful and as they got bigger and could handle more responsibility, we have raised the job difficulty and resposibility level as well. Last year our oldest son was paid $10. and hour for any job he felt like doing and was willing to do well. He loved it and my husband had a yardwork free year!
Anyway, sorry for the novel!
If you have any thoughts or questions let me know!
B-

[shanshanmomof4]

Becky
That sounds great. I think I need you to come and organize my life :) So how old were your kids when you started this just curious?
shan

[Becky O]

My oldest was about 6, the girls were 4.5 and 3 and a new baby.
Oldest was the hardest to convince, but it eventually made more sense as he learned he could make more than with just an allowance and chores, and have more choices on what he felt like doing at the time.
I had to raise compensation for things no one liked doing as an incentive to get them done, but the easy, popular things I kept cheap, LOL!
One of the best outcomes is that my kids are great at deferred gratification!
That was a huge bonus that I hadn't planned on!
B-

[digitiffy]

Wow Becky O! That's something I've got to keep in mind as time moves on. I really like that process. Thanks for sharing!

[April]

That is really cool. Becky it sounds like you are saying the younger they are the better, right? That way they just grow up with the idea??

[shelleyanderson]

urs- we recently purchased the software easychild.com. allie was diagnosed with adhd over the winter and i read about how wonderful it is for both adhd and non adhd children. we have chosen to pay 1o cents per point. and it's easy, we just print out a new sheet every saturday. ours covers the basics-taking a bath and cleaning up, setting out clothes, packing snack for school, doing homework willingly and reading, extra chores, etc. they lose points for arguing with each other or us, etc.

it has been helpful to our family for these reasons...
they have spending money of their own, that they've earned.
they are being positively reinforced, instead of negatively enforced.
they clean their rooms themselves every saturday, vacuum, dust and put clothes away and i don't have to do it anymore...the best spent dollar in the world per kid:) :) :)

urs...if you have any questions feel free to send me an email:)

hugs,
shelley

[Becky O]

Shelley that sounds like wonderful software! And terrific results!
We have the same philosophy that positive reinforcement is far more preferred and pleasant for everyone involved, LOL!
We started them young, it has worked for us.
I think that behaviours are easier to "create" than modify.
This way we were creating desirable behaviours. It hasn't been perfect and it has to be adjusted to the children's individual personalities, but we feel that the kids are getting real world experiences in a safe learning environment.
B-

[Ursula Page]

These are wonderful ideas! I love the idea of just using positive reinforcement but what about when they are disobedient - do you ever subtract allowance?

[Becky O]

I use a different process for when they are not obedient, because ours is a earning sysytem you keep what you earn. I have charged them when they are lazy, for things like rides to school loads of laundry.
I try to re-direct when they are being disobedient. I only set realistic parameters also, I never will give a consequence that I have no intention of following through with, that just makes me a liar.
I have just found that the more I positively reinforce behaviours that I want, the others don't seem to be as prevalent.
Kids are all about the path of least resisitance, whatever is the easiest for them, is what they will do.
That probably made no sense, but it is hard to give an entire parenting philosophy in one post (without being already more annoying than I was previously!) LOL!
B-