The Potty!

[Jamie Hamblin]

Okay... calling all you AMAZING moms for HELP!!!!

Here's the dil-e-o...


So This all started because my 19 month old nephew is COMPLETELY potty trained. He was so unbelievably easy to train and he's hardly had any accidents. So when that happens and here i am with a 2yr. old son the pressure is on from other family members.

So anywho my sons wants to do the potty. I decided that I would let him tell me when he wanted to go and then I would take him. I was told to do treats and I was doing it for awhile but he just isn't interested in that.

What he does:

"Mommy Potty"-Beck

"Okay should we sit on the potty?"- Me

"Potty!" _Beck

So we sit for HOURS!!! You think that I'm kidding, but i'm not. So THe thing is that he doesn't want to get off the potty... he just screams MURDER if I even try to get him off and put his pants back on. So finally after 2 hours I'll get him off and immedialty as we leave the room he goes.

Any advice?

[RobRob]

Jamie
My daughter is FINALLY potty trained YAY! She just turned three and wears panties day and night now HOLLA!!

Ok so I just had to put that because I am so proud. But anyway, when I was reading what you wrote I was thinking Beckham obviously knows he has to go but maybe doesn't know exactly HOW to get it out. When I wanted Allivia to hurry once I told her to push and she said "No mom. You don't push for pee. You push for poop and you just have to wait for the pee."
So maybe it feels different for him? He knows he has to go, doesn't know how exactly to get it out so he waits and then when he stands up after he's tried it just comes?
Don't know if this will help but an idea I had while I was reading was a timer. Set it for like 2-3 minutes and start it as soon as he is on the toilet. Then...woohoo! Time to get a treat! I have heard when they are first learning you can give a treat for just trying not only for going. So then let him go often and sometimes he'll do it sometimes not but when he does...PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE!! And he'll remember that's what he should do! And who cares if he wants to go 10 times a day? That's 10 M&M's but lots of good practice!
I don't know if this is good it's just what I was thinking.
Also...DO NOT let the pressure from family members get to you! Every kid is SO different and the most important thing is that he has a good experience potty training. Just think...he will NOT still be in diapers when he is 5. It's gonna happen in the 2-3 year old range and it will still be totally normal! There's no rush! You have to tell yourself that even if it takes a year from NOW it will still be fine! He'll get it eventually no doubt but it's your job to make sure it is so great for him and not stressful.
Good luck cutie patootie! You'll do great and so will he! I think you have the right thinking letting him go when he wats to cause that is what it all boils down to. They won't do it until they're ready no matter what kind of pressure there is so just do no pressure!

[Shellie]

He's not ready.

Jamie, do not allow family members to pressure you. From my experience, when the child is ready they do it fairly easily. My 2 kids never had accidents and never had to wear pullups at night. That's because I waited until they were ready. They were both almost 3, but I didn't care. It was stress free for all concerned.

Often there seems to be such a push to get our kids potty trained. Almost like it correlates with intelligence. Not true.

I'd wait a little longer.

Keep in mind all kids develop at their own pace. My 19 month old would not walk until she hit 18 months. It drove me nuts. Our neighbor had a baby the same day Anna was born and she's been walking for months. The mom would make snide comments about her daughter being smarter. It didn't bother me, but then again, I'm an old mom. LOL ... My daughter is talking. A lot. Hers isn't at all. :D

My point.... they all learn and develop at their own pace. You don't have to push anything on them.

Beck will get it when he's ready.

[Alishaw]

Jamie, I agree about the family pressure!! not worth making your house miserable for anyone else.
What worked for me was the liquids, sticker and excitement. I kept the kid drinking all day! Juice, water, etc so he had to go lots!! Then every 10 minutes (timer ding) we'd go in and try. If he went he got another sticker and a big cheesey cheer! Then we'd dance and jump around in excitement and I'd tell him what a big boy he was and how proud I was. He was almost 3 also.
Training him too early causes accidents that aren't good for his self esteem or your patience and it could just be his body isn't ready He shouldn't be made to go before he's ready and just have it upset him too. Heck Robin said 5, but I figured he enter high school potty trained, right?? LOL
Hang in there!

[kmsarles]

My son was going during the day by three but is four now and still has to wear a diaper at night. My daughter got trained because we ran out of money for diapers, so that was it! (Don't miss those days). But my friend's daughter is three and is just now interested. They all do it at their own pace. My other friend taught her boys standing up and put cheerios in the potty to aim at. She also suggested putting a new toy in the bathroom that they really want, but putting it out of reach. Then giving it as a reward if they go for a week straight. I told my son in order to go to German kindergarten (they start at 3) he had to go in the potty. He wanted to go school so it worked. There are so many little tricks. The most important thing is to NOT compare them to other kids or make them feel less smart, or developed because they can't do it yet. It may mean you have to hear a little more crap from outsiders (how quickly they forget their own hang-ups) but it will be character building for you too! :) My son still sucks his thumb. I figure he'll outgrow it my the time he reaches high school, and yeah, your kid's not going to wear a diaper in HS either! :) Hang in there!!!

[tpowers]

Jamie- I for sure would not let others pressure you. All kids develop at different rates. I have seen this from the other side. Sierra potty trained at 20 months. She was ready though. She told me when she was wet or dirty for awhile and then she would tell me before. Her cousin is 9 months older and still in diapers. I watch his mom get frustrated because, Sierra is potty trained and he isn't. He isn't ready. And then when he has accidents it is upsetting to everyone. Adding pressure for him will make it harder on you and on Beckham.
The good advice that I did get is once you start in underwear don't go back and always keep it positive. Even if you clean up four accidents in one day don't get mad or punish.
Also, I put up a thread on this awhile ago and got some really good advice.
I can not get the ling to work. Search older kids, I titled it "Advice from mom's with older kids."
Good Luck. Don't worry it will happen when he is ready.

[peetie]

I'm almost embarrassed to say this, but my second child was 4 before he was potty trained. I tried everything I could think of! We even took him to a child psychologist because I thought something was wrong with him. I promised him the moon. I cried, I yelled, I even made my hubby take a day off work so one of us could stick by him the whole day because he would sneak off and go. I figured he was never going to be potty trained and I was going to have a 25 year old that I had to change diapers! It was the most frustrating thing I have ever gone through.

Anyway, the day after my son turned 4, he went into the bathroom (I didn't know he had gone in) came out and said, "Now I get my Power Ranger toy." He had gone into the bathroom and had gone potty all by himself. My husband took him right then to the store to pick out his new toy, even though it was 11 pm. :) That was it. He decided he was ready and no amount of reasoning, or bribing, or whatever was going to change that.

Now, I have a 3 year old who is not potty trained. (It must be a boy-thing, my daughter was easy). Anyway, we have prizes in the bathroom on a shelf that he can't reach and I show them to him everyday. I also have him sit on the potty and we have potty parties everyday. I talk about when goes on the potty how much of a big boy he is. It's all very calm and exciting. I will not go through the same thing I did with my second child. I am making it very accessible for him. So what if people judge me? I'm doing what I feel is right for my son and my family. Their kids aren't perfect either, who cares?

I didn't mean for this to be so long. I'll step off my soap box now! :lol

[Shellie]

He decided he was ready and no amount of reasoning, or bribing, or whatever was going to change that.


That is the key.

[Charm Lady]

We are also starting potty training with my daughter. Now that baby is here and her brothers are in school, I am hoping it will be easier. I think she is ready. But, I wanted to tell you that my older son reverted every time there was major changes in our lives.
For example, we moved and he had accidents for a while. Most of these were because he would forget to go, and make it to the bathroom floor, but not the toilet.

Also, when he started kindergarten, he had accidents at night because of the change in our lives.

Each kid is different, because my second son was really easy. Good luck with it!

[Jamie Hamblin]

Okay, when I read my first post I totally said it wrong... sorry everyone...


So He totally tells me when he needs to go... otherwise I don't ask or even mention it. With that in mind... last night my Mother -in -law had him and I told her DON"T EVEN MENTION the potty! Well she called me and said He wants to go ... he's ripping off his diaper and wants to sit on the potty.

Well As I already told you he wouldn't go... he just sat for hours and talked to himself... then last night when I went downstairs to get him from the M-I-L he asked for a toy and I said in one minute mommy has to go potty! (crap in my mind; I said potty) Well That was it, "Mommy!!! Potty" So I only let him sit for 3 minutes. I really had to go by this time so I took him off and went while he was screaming at me "mommy Beckham potty" So I decided to put him back on while i washed my hands. Well he said, "mommy go and close the door" So I said what the heck I did it and 30 seconds later he came and got me and said "look potty" and he had went potty. So I PRAISED HIM LIKE CRAZY!


So then this morning, again I didn't want to say a word about the potty beause I don't want him sitting there for hours. So First thing when he woke up "Mommy Potty" so we went potty and he told me to "go and close the door"... I did and again he went potty wiped up his spilled pee and flushed the toilet. Then 10 minutes later, he did it again. So since 7:00 this morning he's been going on his own. But this last few times he's just been peeing and pooping on the floor. I always wait outside the door and listen but now I don't know how to get him to do his business in the potty. I haven't and won't scolled him for accidents like that so I need help on other ways to do it!

And should I start asking then or should I keep not even mentioning it?

[kmsarles]

Wow! That's a huge jump! I'd try the cheerios trick and let him aim! :)

[supermombritt]

I would wait for sure. I thought my first was ready because he did everything that kids are supposed to do when they are ready to be potty trained. Nightmare. My husband and I decided that our second could go to college in diapers for all we cared. We were not doing that again. Our second potty trained himself in one day and never went back to diapers. I agree that the earlier it is, the more problems you get. I think kids go through phases where they are good and then they regress. I would just blow it off and not even try. The reason I say that is because of the horrible time we had when mine thought he wanted to go. Good luck. Potty training is the worst part of parenting for me.

[montmeag]

My son was over 4 before we could finally call him potty-trained. We tried everything and it just took time and some good incentives. My son's was trains. We started small and built up to 2 weeks with no accidents (with a sticker at bed time so he could see where he was) before he could get a train. You could try a chart with stickers. If he goes but goes on the floor, give lots of praise but no sticker. If he gets it in the potty, he gets praise and a sticker. We are actually starting with our daughter who just turned 2, but I'm fairly certain she's ready. She keeps taking her pants and diaper off and then peeing on the floor, couch, bed, etc. And she hates sitting in a messy diaper. She peels it off as soon as she's done and the sits on the couch or whatever with a messy bum. AARRG! Potty training is the worst! We're doing something a little different with her. I bought a whole potty seat and sat it in front of the tv. Then I let her sit on it and run around with no pants on and watch TV all day. Yeah, I know, but it keeps her occupied and hopefully in one place. Then I can make a big deal out of it when she goes.

[supermombritt]

If you are set on starting potty training, I saw this idea on TV. Give your kids salty snacks because it makes them really thirsty. Then just pump them full of liquids. I mean till their eyeballs are swimming. The salt makes them thirsty which makes them drink which makes them pee. Just a tip.

[Jamie Hamblin]

I kinda really don't care what he does and I'm totally fine with the holding off, I was just told not say no sweetie, just pee in your diaper.

So should i keep doing what i'm doing then if he asks take him? Geez. Kids should just come with a note... you're son/daughter will start on this day and be good.